Good Enough

When it comes down to it, my biggest struggle lately is that I just don't feel good enough.

This week, I am breaking out pretty badly; I have a cold; I have lost my confidence as a writer and replaced it with fear of not measuring up; I am intimidated by the talented artists at Fox, and while I believe that I have the potential to rise to that standard, I spend so much time focusing on how everyone else is better than me instead of working toward my own goals; I have a lot of reading to do and am not making enough time to do it well; and all of this "not good enough" is building up, causing emotional strain on my relationships.

All of these things factor into my overall feeling of "not good enough." But what is "good enough"? I am realizing that "good enough" for me is such a vague, undefinable concept that it is, and always will be, unattainable. (This is the part where I get really anxious.) Here's why: I develop an idea in my mind of what "good enough" is and then as soon as I start to come close to reaching it, I push the bar up just a little bit higher. I keep "good enough" dangling in front of me like a carrot on a stick, always within sight but never within reach.

I spend so much time comparing myself to the people around me, that I love sight of, or perhaps never even create, personal goals. My goals have become completely dependent on those around me, rather than on myself. I need to make goals for myself that are attainable, and take some time to celebrate when I reach them. I may not have the best skin or be the best writer or the best photographer or the best girlfriend, but I am giving my best, and that makes me good enough. Good enough for my family and my friends and my boyfriend. Good enough for myself. And most importantly, good enough for God.